Own Today

I’ll be honest with you — I often find myself ruminating on my past. The mistakes I’ve made. The things I’ve allowed in my life that I wish I hadn’t. Sometimes I get stuck replaying what could have been if I’d done things differently.

And when I’m not stuck in the past, I’m worrying about the future: the fears of the unknown, wondering Will I lose someone I love? Will I lose my income? What if everything falls apart?

What I’ve come to realize is this: Ruminating on the past or fearing the what-ifs of the future is robbing me of the present — and all the joy it has to offer right now.

The Illusion of Control

I know I’m not alone in this. So many of us carry the heavy burden of trying to control what’s already behind us, or predict what hasn’t even happened yet. According to Dr. John D. Krumboltz, clinging to the past feeds helplessness and regret (Krumboltz, 1991). And research shows that constant worry about the future is our mind’s attempt to feel safe — but instead, it leaves us feeling powerless and anxious (Borkovec et al., 2004).

Why the Present Matters

Mindfulness researcher Jon Kabat-Zinn beautifully reminds us that true peace comes from paying full attention to what’s in front of us, right now (Kabat-Zinn, 1994). When we choose to be here — not back there, not way out there — we take back our power.

The present is where we can breathe, choose differently, and savor what is good and real today.

How to Own Today

Here are a few gentle reminders that help me reclaim my days when my mind wants to time travel:

Practice Presence: Take three slow breaths. Feel your feet on the ground. Listen to the sounds around you.

Set Small Intentions: Instead of asking how you’ll fix everything forever, ask: What can I do today?

Offer Yourself Compassion: You are not your past mistakes. You are not your future fears. You are human — and worthy of grace today.

Celebrate Small Wins: Every tiny step taken today is a seed for tomorrow.

So here’s your reminder:

You don’t own yesterday. You can’t control tomorrow. But you are the master of this moment.

May you honor it wisely.

Sources

• Krumboltz, J. D. (1991). The Happenstance Learning Theory. Journal of Career Assessment.

• Borkovec, T. D., Ray, W. J., & Stöber, J. (2004). Worry: Uncontrolled thought as a common process in pathological worry and generalized anxiety disorder. In Generalized Anxiety Disorder: Advances in Research and Practice.

• Kabat-Zinn, J. (1994). Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life. Hyperion.